My abandoned child

Hi blog,

Sorry for neglecting you these few days.

Today, I went out to have a "farewell" lunner (lunch/dinner haha) with Lynn and Wanjun at Ssikkek. It was yummy as always, but the both of them treated me like a trash can towards the end. :/

Went to walk around orchard and took some pictures :) It is really heart-warming to know that someone shares the same view as you. Talking to them gives me a homely feeling, like I'm back in Cedar (such a large and wonderful part of my life).

This will be my first time experiencing a friend leaving for another country. I seriously feel scared for Lynn. No parents, no guardian, just alone. My goodness. I won't be able to cope for sure. I really hope things would go well for her so that she won't have to handle all these problems single-handedly. God bless you, Lynnie.

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Suddenly I feel that I probably shouldn't put anyone too high a place in my heart since I was and am never anyone's first.

All those little things you secretly made the effort to do will remain unknown and nobody will appreciate. So what for wasting my effort? Who would do this for me? Apart from my mom and dad and aunts, probably no one. 

When people really care for you, they expect nothing in return. And sadly, I often neglect those people who genuinely care for me. Whenever people tell me that they feel happy for me, I'll wonder how many percent of their words do they really mean; 5%?

Sometimes when I do something, I really expect nothing in return. But recently, I'll start to ponder why I'm doing some things. That means I've ceased to care genuinely? I think so. 

Care and love should be earned. I find it difficult to keep caring or loving someone (apart from my brother).